The Difference Between "Normal" Teenage Behavior and a Teen with ADHD

For those of you who have been wondering why there haven't been any new post put up here in awhile let me tell you, life has been a little crazy. I guess that's normal, but, somewhere in the middle of all the craziness a wonderful thing happened. I was asked to blog about ADHD for EverydayHealth.com. I will still be writing here, I promise, it has just taken me a few months to readjust the juggle. I hope you will keep checking here for updates and that you'll follow me on EverdayHealth also. My blog there is called Living A Distracted Life .

In the meantime, I received the best inquiry from a friend of mine today. Jase made me laugh so hard I had to share it. I know those of you that parent ADHD kids will find it as absolutely 100% accurate and as funny as I have.  Thank you, Jase, for guest blogging for me today!

It cracks me up when I tell someone about something Jacob has done related to his ADHD and their response is "Well, that's all teenagers..." No, no... See, if that explanation might fly with someone who has one kid or has never had much experience with kids, but for those of us who have parented multiple children and worked with kids in various settings..trust me, we know the difference. Allow me to illustrate...

Parent: You need to clean your room.

Typical teenage boy: Says "Let me get to where I can save this game." Never gets there. You tell him again with threat of losing game privileges, he whines that you are ruining his life. He goes to his room, shoves everything under the bed and in the closet, returns to video game. He wears dirty clothes to school because he can't find any clean ones. It's your fault.

ADHD/ODD teenage boy: "I can't save here. Hang on." Never gets there. You repeat yourself, trying to be understanding that his attention span is short. Still doesn't get there. You repeat yourself again more forcefully with threat. He looks at you as though he has never been told to do anything in his life. You repeat it, again. He insists he can't save, you insist he cleans. He gets mad and stomps into bedroom, leaving the game running. He picks up 2 articles of clothing, finds item he hasn't seen in 6 months, decides to tinker with it, forgets to clean room, and walks through the house. Sees video game still on, sets down found item on table, returns to game. You walk in, ask "Did you get your room clean?" He looks at you as though its the first time he's ever heard those words. You threaten again, tired of being understanding, he insists he can't save, you say you don't care, he argues with you for 20 minutes about why he can't clean his room all the while the character on the screen is spinning in circles, he stomps into the bedroom angry and mouthing, and starts shoving things into drawers. Finds skateboard. Decides to go skating. Comes back with skateboard. "You need your helmet if you are going to ride that." He looks at you as though he has never heard those words before and complains that he doesn't know where the helmet is. "Did you clean up your room?" He looks at you like you are speaking Swahili. "Did...you...clean...your...room?" He says, "I think so. Maybe." You say, "You don't know if you cleaned your room?" He says, "I'll go check." He leaves skateboard by the front door and returns to room, shoves more clothes into containers, finds helmet, and returns to living room. He sees video game still on, puts helmet on the floor by the skateboard, starts playing again. You walk through, "did you find your helmet?" "What helmet?" "I thought you were going to ride your skateboard? Did you get your room clean?" "I think so." You say, "I'm going to go check. You'd better hope that room is clean." He says, "Wait, I'll go look." Whines, stomps, and complains that you are ruining his life. He finally manages to get the room clean enough that you decide the battle is no longer worth it and that one day you will just set fire to the house. He comes back in, finds previous toy on the counter, picks it up. You say, "Are you finished with your video game?" He says, "Oh yeah, just turn it off." You ask, "Do you need to save?" He says, "No, it has an autosave." You die a little inside, sigh, push the vein in your forehead back into place so you don't have an aneurysm, and turn it off. "If you aren't going to ride your skateboard, you need to put it away." Looks at you as though you have lost your mind and says, "I didn't get it out." You start to believe that you are going crazy, lose your temper, and threaten his life. He realizes your 2 twitches away from serial killer and decides to comply. He takes previous toy, skateboard, and helmet to room. Three hours later he is still in the room. You breathe a sigh of relief and think for a moment that you've broken through and he is actually cleaning. You go check on him and find that he has hot glued the toy to his skateboard for a hood ornament, drawn designs on his helmet, and is using your good sewing scissors to cut decals from aluminum fol. You notice that all the clothes are now back on the floor. "Why are all these clothes on the floor?" He says, "I couldn't find any glue sticks." You say, "Pick this shit up. Put your clothes where they go. Put my scissors back. Right now." You sit down in the kitchen to gather your thoughts, because you can't remember what you were doing. You begin to circle the house looking for your brain. You return to the living room. Skateboard is in the kitchen, scissors are in the fridge, half a glass of milk is on the table, glue gun (still on) is dripping on the floor, and he's...cleaning his room. "Why is the skateboard in the kitchen, and are you planning on drinking this milk?" He says, "I was going to put it all up, but you told me to clean my room. I can't do everything." It's still your fault.

Lisa, am I right?

So, what do you think? Leave a comment, let me know.