Hopelessness...despair...darkness...confusion...nightmare-ish visions reenacting my most dear childhood memories only to find that my face has been replaced by large numbers and postulates and all of my friends are polygons...wetting the bed…screaming like a little baby…assuming the fetal position in public places…oh the horrors of Geometry. The shame and embarrassment I brought upon my family (via math retardation) left them stranded in socially awkward situations. They invested in tutors and study guides, even after school math clubs. None of which showed any results so they made a risky and impulsive decision…they disowned me. So alone, banished from society without food, clean underwear, or access to a decent study guide I was forced to live in the wild raised by ocelots. They taught me about inner strength and good colon health, but I knew deep inside that I would never surmount my greatest fears if I remained with the Ocelots. Now I make my long journey from the deepest, darkest caverns of Mt. Isosceles back to society to regain my honor and reclaim my rightful place as village idiot, instead of village ocelot (though…now that I think about it, if you say it fast enough they do kind of sound alike idiot….ocelot….) But that’s not the point…the point is no longer will I hide my face in the shadows afraid of persecution and ridicule! No longer will I scream for my mommy when I hear the word hypotenuse! No longer will I cower every time I see a stop sign! No longer will I make jokes about squares and compare them to my distant relatives! And through this new Math Tutoring Lab I will conquer MATH!!!!
I laughed so hard I cried ... I was speechless.
I asked her if she was sure she took her medication, she said she did.
This, of course, is not the first assignment she has turned in like this. She wrote and entire narrative essay on her fear of writing narrative essays. Her education is riddled with teachers who either love her and consider her brilliant or hate her and grade her down for her less than traditional approach.
Later she told me that a moderator has to approve the post and she could hardly wait to see if hers passed. Her revised post would be, "My name is Mariah and I am afraid of math."
If you were the Math Lab Moderator what would you say?