In our house we like to say that ADD/ADHD is a gift with a heavy price tag. You have learn to manage that uniquely wired brain to unlock the gifts that come with it. One of Mariah's ADD/ADHD gifts is definitely a quick whit, a wonderful sense of humor which she has developed and used to help her manage the frustrations of life. It has benefited us all, bringing much needed comedic relief. Of these "life lessons" that she has been writing and posting, #24 is one of my favorites. Ironically, it was posted today while I was writing on a blog post about self-awareness, self-monitoring, and self- advocacy. It was just the humor break I needed. Enjoy!
Life Lesson #1: just because it looks absorbent doesn't mean it is
Life Lesson #2 just because you CAN fit a person in the giant driers at the laundromat, doesn't mean you SHOULD.
Life Lesson #3 morning classes should be avoided at all costs. Even if you're a morning person, most people aren't... that includes professors.
Life Lesson #4 the rule " first come, first serve" applies to almost everything... this includes hot water. Check before you bathe... *shivers*
Life Lesson #5 when it comes to the holidays its important to remember not to hate it for the exploitation and commercialism of the Christmas season, but rather, to hate the people behind it.
Life Lesson #6 there is a song about everything... even when there probably shouldn't be.
Life Lesson #7 cough syrup with codeine works really well, no coughing all night. Downsides? WEIRDEST DREAMS EVER.
Life Lesson #7 if you're going to chop onions it is a good idea to wait to put on your makeup until afterwards. *sobs*
Life Lesson # 8 people who can't cook frequent the land of casseroles, that usually, regardless of the recipe, style, or type, include massive amounts of canned corn.
Life Lesson #9 sometimes it gets to the point where crying won't help you any. All things in life happen for a reason. And crying can help you work through these things, it can help you process you're emotions or express the things you can't find the words for...the important part is remembering to dry your eyes... stand up... and keep going... because in the end crying won't fix anything... it will just give you a headache.
Life Lesson #10 any "good idea" you have at three o'clock in the morning is NOT a good idea.
Life Lesson #11 it is never a good idea to light incense when you have bronchitis.
Life Lesson #12 watching crime shows obsessively can definitely make you (more) paranoid.
Life Lesson #13 if you push yourself too hard when you're still sick, you'll get worse.
Life Lesson #14 sometimes specifics really don't matter. For instance whether you ran out of propane, or one of your siblings used all the hot water, you're still sitting in the shower, drenched, freezing cold and very, very unhappy.
Life Lesson #15 a chocolate allergy is God's way of saying "I hate you."
Life Lesson #16 keep calm and carry on.
Life Lesson #17 obsessions, however invigorating and satisfying, are extremely unhealthy. Once you realize this obsession you are responsible for correcting it and once again finding balance and harmony in life. Therefore remaining in a state of euphoric, unbridled bliss is the best way to go. I find denial works brilliantly in these cases.
Life Lesson #18 if it doesn't look edible.... DON'T EAT IT.
Life Lesson #19 you don't know what you've got until it's gone.
Life Lesson #20 Just because you CAN doesn't mean you should AND you can publish a book about anything.
Life Lesson #21 there are different ways to judge the safety of your current location, one way I've found very effective: count all the white kids with dreadlocks...if there are more than five....it's time to invest in some pepper spray.
Life Lesson #22 during the first two weeks of every semester it is imperative that you show up early. These weeks are crucial to establishing alpha status and/ or dominance a.k.a. pecking order ( and of course this means seating arrangements) chances are if you show up early, you'll will get a good seat and if you are persistent enough you may just be able to keep that seat all semester long.
Life Lesson #23 when you're very, very sick and its four o'clock in the morning and you'd rather DIE than swallow, you seek comfort in things like a cup of hot tea. REMEMBER this is a GREAT time to use the microwave. But BECAUSE it's four o'clock in the morning you don't. You use the stove and you CATCH YOUR BLANKET ON FIRE.
Life Lesson #24 it is considered socially unacceptable to throw a bowl at someone's head in public.
Life Lesson # 8 people who can't cook frequent the land of casseroles, that usually, regardless of the recipe, style, or type, include massive amounts of canned corn.
Life Lesson #22 during the first two weeks of every semester it is imperative that you show up early. These weeks are crucial to establishing alpha status and/ or dominance a.k.a. pecking order ( and of course this means seating arrangements) chances are if you show up early, you'll will get a good seat and if you are persistent enough you may just be able to keep that seat all semester long.
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