I don't have any proof that I offended her, there was no direct mention of me in her post but it seemed like she was talking to me. This person seemed to be annoyed that a child would be identified as an #ADHD son and not just a son. I am pretty sure that they thought the child was being classified by their disability, separated or singled out.
It did get me thinking, I do that all the time on twitter put my #ADHD son or daughter or husband. Mostly I do it to sneak that stupid hash tag in there and not just let it hang at the end of a post. I have never thought of it as separating out one of my children as ADHD - maybe because all three of my sons have ADHD and three of my four daughters have it and so does my husband of going on 23 years.
I don't think of it as separating them out because really in our house, my daughter without ADHD and I would be the minority- we would be the ones separated out as non-ADHDers. It would be much easier and faster to list us as the ones without it than to list those with it. In our house we are the minority, the not "normal" ones, and I would even go so far as to say the ones with the disability. After all, we're the ones that are struggling to keep the pace of thought, of action, of energy.
Heaven knows when I say my ADHD son or daughter or husband I don't do it disparagingly, I know that they know I don't say it with any kind of hint that they are less than because of their ADHD. I am sure if you would ask them they would tell you I say it proudly. In fact, I have been asked before if I would change it if I could - if I would take away their ADHD if I could. I think most parents would like to see their children not suffer and struggle but let me tell you what I have told each of them individually - UNEQUIVOCALLY I would not take away their ADHD if I could. Doing so would intrinsically change who they are as people and I LOVE who they are.
I see their ADHD and I am proud of them for who they are, what they create, for their compassion, for their empathy to others, for their quick wit, their humor, their perseverance, their dedication, their desire to be good and try hard in the face of great obstacles.
Maybe the world sees it as a disability, I don't see it that way. I see it as as who they are, as their state of mind, and I LOVE those beautiful minds.