How Many Un-medicated ADHD Kids Does it Take...

Evenings in our house can get pretty interesting.  Only a couple of our family members take afternoon medication and of those only Mark, my husband, can be counted on to take it reliably without being reminded.  As a result, most of the household is completely un-medicated by 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon. 

What does that mean?

For those of you who don’t already know that means that most of the house, as Mariah would say, “has the attention span of a doughnut.”  They can’t hold a thought for more than a millisecond.  They are distracted by everything, moving all over the place with no apparent destination, very talkative, loud, and totally fragmented.  Let’s add irritable to the list.

Naturally, that makes it the perfect time to start a project that takes everyone’s help, concentration, and focus.

Last Friday I posted that one of our afternoon projects was setting up a pool in our yard (see post: Eh, I'm Gonna Risk it!).  When I wrote the post we were still in pre-evening chaos.  The band hadn't started practicing, dinner was still in the planning stages, and we hadn’t started putting the pool up yet.   

And to be honest, I was too busy trying to keep my head above water to really monitor everything that was going on until I looked out the kitchen window and saw all the kids (all of our 7 plus the drummer and his little brother) holding up one end of the pool trying to figure out what to do next.  

I really wish I had THAT picture...it was a sight to behold but we couldn't get a camera out there fast enough to catch it.  Instead, I did what I do best - deferred the chief project manager, my husband.  I had been feeding him updates from the kitchen window.  This one went a little like this, "Mark, it's time for some intervention, they are all standing holding up one end of the pool trying to figure out what to do next."  

He likes to give the kids opportunities to problem solve on their own but this was headed south fast.  Remember...distracted, wriggly, irritable, prone to long rants on unrelated topics.  Mark took sympathy and went out to offer some guidance.  His first suggestion - set up all the footings and supports not just those at one end of the pool.   

They were resistant at first but they set the whole thing back down on the ground and started to add the rest of the supports.  They were hot, tired, and totally unfocused but really motivated.  So, they kept at it.  As they worked, occasionally, from the back yard someone would yell out, "What time is it?  Is it time for The Finder yet?"  We all have our limits and that was theirs - it was getting dark fast but that didn't matter - who needs to see while setting up the pool.  They were fine as long as they could finish by the time The Finder came on.

 

Remember no medication, big project.  There is one problem with being the only non-ADD/ADHD child in a house full of it - you spend a great deal of time being the only one who isn't distracted.  Hannah is that child.  How metaphoric that here she is holding the whole end of the pool by herself.  The question is:  Where did everybody go?

With a lot of guidance and redirection they got it almost standing.  Notice by this point Mark is out there keeping everyone on track and working efficiently.  I would love to say that they got it up and started filling it all before The Finder but it didn't happen that way.  They did, however, get it mostly up and were able to finish it over the next day or two.  Today was the first day they were able to swim in it.  In a great twist of irony the blazing hot weather had disappeared and it was raining this morning.  To be honest it could have been snowing and they would have insisted on getting in.  Who could blame them really?  

As I watched them in the pool out my kitchen window tonight I couldn't help look back to last Friday.  Somewhere in the couple hours they were attacking that pool, wrestling with it to get it up and semi-standing my good friend Penny leaned over and asked, "How many un-medicated kids does it take to set up a pool?"  Answer ~ my six, Penny's two, a Hannah, and a project manager, Mark. 

"Eh, I'm Gonna to Risk it"

It's Friday and while life is shifting gears for most households in America, in my house we haven't gotten the memo.  We are gearing up for band practice.  My two oldest daughters and their band are performing at a benefit concert tomorrow.  We are trying to sneak in prom dress shopping for another daughter.  Driving people to school plays, work, and setting up the pool, it's getting hot here in the Central Valley. 

But at 8:00pm that is all going to come to a stretching halt.  We'll stop what we're doing and all 9 of us will gather in the living room to watch The Finder on Fox.

Who ever said that ADHD was caused by watching too much television has never visited our house.  Here 7 out of the 9 occupant are severely ADHD/ADD, we have one child who isn't.  Usually she and I are the only ones in the house that can just sit and watch a show.  Everyone else wanders in and out, reads while watching the show, draws, jumps in circles, gives running commentary on something totally unrelated, you get the picture.  So, to find a show that meets our family standards and can hold everyone's attention is pretty amazing.

The Finder is that show.

A little something for everyone - there is a bit of mystery, action, drama, romance, and a lot of humor.  Our 13 year old son loves it so much that when we were saying family prayer he thanked God for, "The Finder on Fox on Thursdays at 9:00pm."  That's was when its air time was then.  I suppose he was trying to be very clear with God, this son is very precise, has a bit of OCD with his ADHD.  Now it is on Fox on Fridays at 8:00pm PST.

However, I think that the reason we are so endeared to the show as a family is the main character Walter Sherman, played by Geoff Stults.  Walter Sherman has a gift for finding things that are lost.  The plot revolves around people seeking him out in need of this amazing skill.  His amazing skills stem from his amazing brain and the way he uses his unusual thought patterns to see the world and find that which is missing.

My family identifies with it because they identify with the way Walter thinks, the connections that his brain makes and the way he works out these puzzles is certainly the way most of the members of my house approach life.

Does Walter Sherman have ADHD?  Is that where his unusual thought process springs from?   While I am sure that we could keep that topic going around our dinner table for hours, truth is, it really doesn't matter.  My family can identify with Walter Sherman.  They love his uniquely wired brain and its fun approach to life's problems and quests.  They love his quirky catch phrase, "Eh, I'm gonna to risk it." blurted right as he is about to do something impulsive.  They have adopted it as their own.

Which is good, I always like a little warning and when I hear those words they have my attention. 

They love his friend and counselor Leo, played by Michael Clark Duncan, who is clearly the balance to Walter.  He would be the executive function pointing out the boundaries and giving advice.  Sometimes listened to, sometimes ignored.  They love Willa, the sassy, troubled gypsy girl in Leo's care.  And the on again off again love interest of Walter, US Marshall Isabelle.  A great cast and crew, great writing, combine to make a great show which, unfortunately, seems to be a well hidden secret. 

So, in a effort to make sure that we can see The Finder for a long time I had to share it here and encourage all of you who have a uniquely wired brain, who parent those with uniquely wired brains, or work with those with uniquely wired brains to watch this show and spread the word to others to watch it.  Watch it and maybe you will find a fun perspective on the brains of those you love like I did. 

Tonight, despite all the craziness that we will still be pursuing, at 8:00pm you know where you will find this family.  All 9 of us will be watching our best find in a long time.

Mariah's Life Lessons - Rules to Live By

In our house we like to say that ADD/ADHD is a gift with a heavy price tag.  You have learn to manage that uniquely wired brain to unlock the gifts that come with it.  One of Mariah's ADD/ADHD gifts is definitely a quick whit, a wonderful sense of humor which she has developed and used to help her manage the frustrations of life.  It has benefited us all, bringing much needed comedic relief.  Of these "life lessons" that she has been writing and posting,  #24 is one of my favorites.  Ironically, it was posted today while I was writing on a blog post about self-awareness, self-monitoring, and self- advocacy. It was just the humor break I needed.  Enjoy!

Life Lesson #1: just because it looks absorbent doesn't mean it is

Life Lesson #2 just because you CAN fit a person in the giant driers at the laundromat, doesn't mean you SHOULD.

Life Lesson #3 morning classes should be avoided at all costs. Even if you're a morning person, most people aren't... that includes professors.

Life Lesson #4 the rule " first come, first serve" applies to almost everything... this includes hot water. Check before you bathe... *shivers*

Life Lesson #5 when it comes to the holidays its important to remember not to hate it for the exploitation and commercialism of the Christmas season, but rather, to hate the people behind it.

Life Lesson #6 there is a song about everything... even when there probably shouldn't be.

Life Lesson #7 cough syrup with codeine works really well, no coughing all night. Downsides? WEIRDEST DREAMS EVER.

Life Lesson #7 if you're going to chop onions it is a good idea to wait to put on your makeup until afterwards. *sobs*

Life Lesson # 8 people who can't cook frequent the land of casseroles, that usually, regardless of the recipe, style, or type, include massive amounts of canned corn.

Life Lesson #9 sometimes it gets to the point where crying won't help you any. All things in life happen for a reason. And crying can help you work through these things, it can help you process you're emotions or express the things you can't find the words for...the important part is remembering to dry your eyes... stand up... and keep going... because in the end crying won't fix anything... it will just give you a headache.

Life Lesson #10 any "good idea" you have at three o'clock in the morning is NOT a good idea.

Life Lesson #11 it is never a good idea to light incense when you have bronchitis.

Life Lesson #12 watching crime shows obsessively can definitely make you (more) paranoid.

Life Lesson #13 if you push yourself too hard when you're still sick, you'll get worse.

Life Lesson #14 sometimes specifics really don't matter. For instance whether you ran out of propane, or one of your siblings used all the hot water, you're still sitting in the shower, drenched, freezing cold and very, very unhappy.

Life Lesson #15 a chocolate allergy is God's way of saying "I hate you."

Life Lesson #16 keep calm and carry on.

Life Lesson #17 obsessions, however invigorating and satisfying, are extremely unhealthy. Once you realize this obsession you are responsible for correcting it and once again finding balance and harmony in life. Therefore remaining in a state of euphoric, unbridled bliss is the best way to go. I find denial works brilliantly in these cases.

Life Lesson #18 if it doesn't look edible.... DON'T EAT IT.

Life Lesson #19 you don't know what you've got until it's gone.

Life Lesson #20 Just because you CAN doesn't mean you should AND you can publish a book about anything.

Life Lesson #21 there are different ways to judge the safety of your current location, one way I've found very effective: count all the white kids with dreadlocks...if there are more than five....it's time to invest in some pepper spray.

Life Lesson #22 during the first two weeks of every semester it is imperative that you show up early. These weeks are crucial to establishing alpha status and/ or dominance a.k.a. pecking order ( and of course this means seating arrangements) chances are if you show up early, you'll will get a good seat and if you are persistent enough you may just be able to keep that seat all semester long.

Life Lesson #23 when you're very, very sick and its four o'clock in the morning and you'd rather DIE than swallow, you seek comfort in things like a cup of hot tea. REMEMBER this is a GREAT time to use the microwave. But BECAUSE it's four o'clock in the morning you don't. You use the stove and you CATCH YOUR BLANKET ON FIRE.

Life Lesson #24 it is considered socially unacceptable to throw a bowl at someone's head in public.