Queen of the Distracted

Imagine life in a house with 6 kids - now imagine if 5 of those kids and their father have ADD/ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) - that is our house! Welcome to an inside view of my life and our home dominated by ADHD... THERE IS NEVER A DULL MOMENT!

Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls!

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls!"

Those were our oldest daughter Rachel's first words, from the time she was a toddler she would belt them out proudly standing on the arm of the couch. At the time we had no idea what ADHD was or that it would play such a central roll in our lives.

Since then we have learned a lot, not the least of which is how many individuals and families suffer in silence. We have experienced first hand how misunderstood and misrepresented a disorder can be.

As a family we decided to take action - to risk embarrassment and labeling to get this important message out to the world. Come join our family, share in our lives, and see ADD/ADHD as we see it...
A gift with a heavy price tag.

WELCOME to life in the ADD/ADHD House!

Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts

Monday, October 14, 2013

Self Medicating in a Positive Way

I was talking to the friend the other day who had a terrible day. One of those when life comes out of no where and sucker punches you leaving you a little breathless and reeling trying to find your footing. We talked for awhile but truth being what it was talking wouldn't change much. It was one of those, "it is what it is," situations that doesn't bend no matter how much we want it too. A struggle that takes long term coping mechanisms. In parting she said she was off to, "self-medicate." Normally this would have freaked me out a bit because when I hear or see or use the term self-medicate it has always had the negative connotation of using drugs or alcohol to escape or cope. But that's not what she said, not what she meant, because she didn't stop there. What she said basically was, "I'm going to go self-medicate by diving into to some creative writing."

roller blading
Self-medicating as a positive way to cope, I had never thought about it that way.

But it tickled my brain and as it settled I started to shift my own paradigm. Suddenly, I saw self-medicating in a whole new light. My own son came to mind. We have always made a point of making sure our kids knew they had ADHD and whatever co-occurring conditions that each of them have individually, no secrets here. In addition we have made a point of making sure they understood their conditions and how their brain works. So it wasn't a surprise one night when I overheard my son talking to his dad, "I am having a panic attack," he was vibrating with neurotic energy, "can I go roller blade? I need some dopamine right now!" A personal awareness victory for sure. A triumph for self-advocacy, he knew what he needed to pull his world back into balance and asked for it. Exercise would be the no-brainer on the list of things you can do to lift your mood, re-balance your life, release some dopamine, and feel better. Exercise is a quick way to get those happy chemicals coursing through the brain and body but certainly not the only way.

Engaging in a creative activity results in the same flood of chemicals. For my friend it's writing, we have some writers in our house. Writers, artists, musicians, filmmakers, actors the rush that they get from engaging in these activities is a powerful way to self-medicate. In addition to the chemical release in the brain that reenforces that these activities are good and bring happiness, these more creative outlets allow the individual to express what they're feeling. They're a form of release.

I remember a meeting with one of my daughters and our family psychiatrist. He was explaining to her the importance of having a pressure release. He compared it to air in a balloon. Life is crazy, demanding, hard and as we move through it we collect air in our balloons. If we don't let some of that air out on a regular basis eventually there is just too much air and our balloon pops.

Nai Da Zip
When we use creative releases we have a way of expressing our joys, fears, frustrations, pains, hurt, love, happiness, rage. It can be a beautiful and profound way of expressing, releasing, self-medicating. Sitting in the middle of my creative house I can see it manifest in many different mediums. My one non-ADHDer most recently created 2 new cartoon characters, Nai and Zip. A little creature, Zip, is full of energy and mischief. Zip's hair changes color with his mood. Zip is here and there and pretty much everywhere. When I asked her about it she told me flat out Zip was the manifestation of all her ADHD siblings in one little character. She is Nai. Nai Da Zip gives her an outlet. As I came to realize, by my friends comment in passing, it gives her a healthy way to self-medicate through the chaos of our lives.

With this new perspective I see


running lines for The Mighty Kubar
more clearly their thoughts, emotions, feelings woven into their pieces of art, echoed in the lyrics of their music, poured out in the emotion of their acting, recorded in the scenes of film, typed out in the words and thoughts of characters on the page. This new revelation didn't bring any earth shaking changes to our house, we were doing these things before and we will continue to do them. But I feel like I have a new tool in my tool box to help my family through the rocky, bumpy roads of life. A new positive release to encourage them to use when everything is overwhelming and troublesome, when they feel off kilter.

And one that works for me too, I can disappear for while into another world, work out my feelings, express myself, get some positive brain chemicals flowing, and emerge feeling better about the world.

What I came to realize, after I gave it some thought, was creative endeavors are a great way to self-medicate, maybe one of the best because they fulfill so many wonderful purposes at once.  As I am writing, right now, there are several kids singing, guitar being practiced, drawing, a set being dressed to start filming on The Mighty Kubar tomorrow, and acting all at this very moment. And I think of my friend and her writing and the great coping mechanism it is to her. I'll never think of self-medicating in the same one-sided negative way again. In fact, now I think I can only think of all the great and positive ways we can find balance and happiness by self-medicating through positive ways.


** The Mighty Kubar and all the artwork, music, lyrics posted here are the property of Hannah Aro, Rachel Aro, Mark Aro, Lisa Aro respectively

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Dear Adam Levine, Thank You for Owning Your ADHD

We gathered as a family to watch the end of The Voice the other night.  But in my opinion the most important moment didn't come when all the superstars sang, or when they handed out keys to new cars for the finalist or even when they announced the winner.

As the mom to 6 ADHD kids (7 kids in all) and wife to an ADHD husband the most pivotal moment of the evening came as they played a video of Adam Levine playing the piano, the drums, the guitar, whistling, talked about him playing the accordion, and showed him singing.

In that moment one of my kids reminded everyone that Adam Levine had ADHD too. There was a level of pride filling the room.  "He's just like us." one said.  Another added, "you know it's because of his ADHD that he has to play all those instruments, that he's good at all of them!"  They know that drive, the unquenchable force that pushes you past distraction, past focus, and lands you on the positive side of hyper-focus.

and drums, basses, electric guitars & flutes
The excitement, the acceptance, the hope in that moment was tangible.

There are many successful ADHD people out there, more and more of them are coming forth and owning their ADHD.  I wonder if they will ever know the impact they have on the upcoming generation of kids with ADHD.  Those kids and struggling adults can find they have potential in the success of another person.  To struggle through school, through feeling different and awkward, through trying to master coping mechanisms, and find a way to use all this energy and potential seeing someone's success is a beacon, it's proof it can be done. Instead of just seeing all the things they aren't, they catch a glimmer of all they can be.

Every successful person who comes forth and owns their ADHD is important in the life of others who struggle with the same issues no matter what walk of life their success is in.  Adam Levine hits home in my house because he's creative.  Creative is what we do, art, music, singing, acting, writing, film, animation to see a successful person with ADHD inspires them towards their own greatness.

Stigma, shame, embarrassment, the threat of being judged by negative stereotypes for admitting your ADHD are real. The world would have us hide anything that is different or imperfect.  Ironically, the only way to change those negative stereotypes is to take that risk, to face that fear, and be bold about our disorders in front of the world until those walls are broken down.  Then, fear, stigma, shame,embarrassment, negative stereotypes can be replaced by knowledge and understanding.

There is no doubt that ADHD is a mixed bag.  There are struggles, endless struggles; but, there is greatness also.  Thank you Adam Levine for being willing to show both sides to the world.  Thank you to all successful people who stand up and own it.




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Monday, November 26, 2012

An Inheritance from the Distracted King - Mastering Hyperfocus

Besides inheriting their ADHD from their father, the Distracted King, our children are benefiting from his years of experience and the many coping mechanisms that he has found to pay the heavy price tag of ADHD and open the great and marvelous gifts which it offers.

The King and I were talking today about hyperfocus, a quality of ADHD that can easily hijack the mind making it easy to get lost in ideas, creative ventures, and activities.  The conversation was inspired by a wonderful blogpost I read written by Zoe Kessler for Psych Central called A Hyperfocus Balance Sheet: Is Hyperfocus Worth it?  A wonderful breakdown of pros and cons to hyperfocus.  In the discussion the King said he considers hyperfocus one of the greatest qualities he gains from his ADHD.  It has taken a long time to get the balance just right, to master it rather than it controlling him, but now it's an asset that he uses in many aspects of daily life.

The benefits to my husband and our family are really hard to quantify but I have pinned down specifics of this sizable inheritance beyond the obvious financial benefits we have gained from his successful career.

The King has taught them to use hyperfocus to accomplish an unwanted, even hated task.  One of the hardest things for the ADHD mind to do is focus on something boring, uninteresting, or undesirable.  Unfortunately life is full of such tasks. Right now, for our kids, school is full of such tasks.  The King uses something that his mind wants to hyperfocus on as a carrot to get through the mundane and irritating.

We have a son, now a freshman in high school, who is a grammar freak.  Until we had him diagnosed with ADHD and medicated in the 1st grade he couldn't remember his alphabet. Then, like someone turned on a switch, he started reading.  Within a couple of months he was reading at a 6th grade level and much to the chagrin of the teachers and office staff he was correcting the spelling and grammar of the school newsletter and returning it each week.  Now this same son had to read a book in honors English, House on Mango Street.  It has been several months and he still randomly breaks out into rants about how horrible that book was to get through.  Why?  It has no grammar at all - just one run-on sentence.  The boy who can sit down and read a 400- 600 page book that he wants to read in a day or two was struggling to get through a page.

With the help of his father he learned how to hyperfocus on the task he didn't want to do so he could get to the one he wanted to do.  Reading chunks for the reward of reading chunks.  Important to note that you have to set limits on your pleasurable hyperfocus or you will easily get swept away.  In this case it was pages or chapters, sometimes it minutes or hours.  Today he used those same skills to write an essay for the same class.  Each time he uses the skills he is learning about managing his focus and engaging the ability to hyperfocus he is able to do more and more on his own without the Kings help of guidance.

The King has taught them how to establish a state of hyperfocus, how to get into the groove.  Getting into that hyperfocus state of mind is easy when it's where your mind wants to go but when it doesn't want to go there it can be very difficult.  The King has certainly proven it can be done.  He has also passed the process onto our children. Recently we found out we had to move, the King took one of our daughters out to the garage, surveying it he said to her, "Mary, I need to know what is in this garage.  I need someone who can get lost in this job."  Other than a few parameters he didn't tell her how to do the job. She strung up Christmas lights, found an old boombox we thought was dead forever, fixed it, blasted music, created a system for finding and cataloging everything in the garage, and went to town.

As each day passed she employed the first lesson listed above by doing other chores that needed to be done and then headed back to the garage.  The King is still teaching her the lesson, helping her learn to take breaks, praising her work and progress, helping her see the value of the time and effort she is putting into the task, and satisfaction of finishing a long hard job.

Important to note that the King didn't dictate how she got into the groove of hyperfocus, that is a very individual process that changes for each person and each task.

The King has taught them there is a time to stop - pull yourself from the groove and pay attention to other things in life.  It took the King years to learn this and personally I would like to think that I had a little something to do with it.  Just like he would go out the garage to help Mary learn to monitor and balance her ability to hyperfocus I have helped him, over the years, to see when he was loosing perspective.  This has probably been one of the harder lessons to learn but he has really come to a place of where he can pull himself from that hyperfocus state and enjoy the world around him.  Having both the ability to put yourself into that frame of mind and take yourself out of it allows you to use it daily, finishing  small projects and making marked progress on long ones.

Part of learning it and teaching it is learning to recognize what you need and what those around you need.  While getting his focus ripped out from under him is hard - he even describes it as painful, he has learned to communicate it and teach ways to cope with it to our kids.  Being self aware and being able to express it to others helps them understand where you are coming from and what they can do to help.  He consistently includes them by asking them to look at something he's working on and for their critique.  When our rather random house is firing distractions like a war zone he asks for their help in keeping his focus.  He often says I can't think about that right now but let me get to this point in my work and my attention is all yours.

The kids have become very good at being equally self aware and expressive.  As they vocalize their struggle between what they need to be doing and the multitude of ideas that flood them we can help them manage the way their brains work while they learn to manage it themselves.

Most commonly we see this manifested in the uncontrollable need to write down an idea, record a melody, or draw an inspired picture.  He has taught them to jot down notes or record ideas quickly and then get back to the required task at hand.  He has taught them that even though it is hard to wait they can.  They can remember the inspiration and act on it in the appropriate time.


The King has taught them that you can include others in your hyperfocus state, making it not such a solitary quality.  Their are aspects of his job that are not very inclusive.  We can't all sit around and edit a film or draw the same picture.  He includes us in the source of his hyperfocus by including us where he can.  More than just asking our opinions he has pulled us into his world and activities.  When he worked on a film a couple of years ago our family became intimately involved.  Our older girls were production assistants, the younger ones acted as extras, we were often on set if nothing else just to watch and be there with him.  We write stories as a family, make movies, deeply discuss art, literature, and music.  He proves all the time that hyperfocus does not need to be a solitary place, in fact it can be very inclusive as we look for ways to share our joys and obsessions.  Many of our fondest memories revolve around getting lost together in a wonderfully creative world come to life.

It has passed along to our children and they are know to come and share their inspiration with us and involve each other in their creative endeavors.  Fernando asks Hannah or Rachel for drawings of characters for his story, Mariah has Rachel help her with lyrics and has her sing her songs, Rachel takes lyrics to Mariah, they help each other with plot ideas for stories and movie, they share and pull others into their process.

The King as taught them that there is a satisfaction that comes in finishing, a confidence that carries you through to the next hard thing to conquer that requires the ability to hyperfocus.  When our daughter Mariah was about 15 she was already heavily into the world of composing music.  I think she fell into that world from the moment she took her first music lesson at 7 years old.  At 15 he had a tall order for her though.  He needed a song written for a movie he was working on - one that she could write and she and her sister could perform.  A song that would play during a movie scene where one of the characters, a young gang kid, is considering suicide.  He pulled her into his hyperfocus, spinning her off into her own.

It was a hard thing to do, she had to use all of the skills mentioned above to complete it. She had to pace herself and find balance using hyperfocus on a consistent basis to complete a task.  She had to put herself into that hyperfocus state when she didn't necessarily want to finding a process to do that, a place to best work, set the mood for herself.  She had to communicate when she needed help following inspiration because it finally hit.  Often she had to find ways to hold onto the inspiration and set it aside until she could work on it at the appropriate time and place.  Sometimes she needed help pulling herself from that place back into the flow of life.    It wasn't a song she ever would have written on her own, it was dictated by the script and mood of the film at that moment.  But she did it.  How priceless is the knowledge that you can apply yourself to a task that isn't what you would choose to do, one that is hard and painstaking, and you can finish with high praise.




ADHD is a life long disorder, the way their brains are wired is not going to suddenly change. They will struggle with how to manage and use the qualities of ADHD to some degree all their life but every bit of ground they gain, every bit of understanding, every tool they acquire changes what their future looks like.  They are fortunate that the Distracted King is there to lead the way, that he embraces his strengths and weaknesses and strives to show them that they can work on them everyday because he works on them everyday.  In the end is there really any inheritance more valuable than that.

*The song, Smoke and Mirrors, is written by Mariah Aro with help from her sister Rachel and performed by Rachel Aro with harmonies by Mariah.

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Sunday, February 27, 2011

Warning: Objects in Motion Stay in Motion

We have a way of raising eyebrows and inciting laughter all at the same time.

Our shear numbers can be shocking.  Add to that a bunch ADHD and a lack of inhibition and we are pure entertainment.  It might make some people uncomfortable but for the most part people seem amused.  Sometimes they even laugh or comment on what fun we are obviously having.  That was certainly the case the other night when we met Mark for pizza. 

It all started with the jukebox and some Michael Jackson.  Toe tapping, then shoulders, and then everyone is dancing in their seats, even my husband, Mark.  A little singing along but restrained, well, restrained for our crowd.

On to some classic rock and head banging.

By the time Justin Beiber came on Rachel was singing to Hannah, "Baby, baby, baby, oh, baby, baby, baby, noooo!" and really getting into it.

Leaving we met one of pleasantly amused types.  The first question is almost always, "Are they all yours?"   Almost always followed by, "It must be a party all the time at your house."

Not always, though we certainly do have a lot of fun.  With so many people and personalities we certainly have lots of moments where someone is upset, angry, sad, tortured, depressed, traumatized.  In fact, some days it seems like I rotate from one drama to the next; but, not this night.


After pizza we were off to the grocery store where I couldn't help but think about the post I made the other day; Parkas in Summer, Shorts in the Winter.  I was remembering those days when they were all small and all held onto the cart.  In some ways life was a bit simpler.  In fact, I think I may have threatened to make them all grab a corner of the cart.


Yep, everyone in this picture at the grocery store is with me!

I wish you could have seen my expression as I looked up to this sight in the freezer section.  I think my head tilted to the side like a confused puppy!  I couldn't help but laugh when Fernie, a permanent fixture in our house and also ADHD,  went and stuck his head into the freezer case.  I was just about to ask what he was looking at when all of the sudden there they were with their heads down in the case.  He pops up, "I was just wondering how many would come and join me." 

It was a crazy fun night.  Truth be told no one was unhappy, no one was so far out of line that they were making the night stressful.  No one was sad or depressed or angry. 

Can you ask for more?

Friday, February 18, 2011

Creativity and ADHD Part II

She slid around the corner of the bread isle in Vons - one hand on her hip, one straight up in the air, rock star style. In her self proclaimed over exaggerated, deep, sweaty, Bon Jovi voice she belted out, "Cause I'm wanted...wante-e-ed...dead or alive!"

She is 17.

Everybody turned to look, froze, and stared.  The butcher almost dropped his meat. A man with his young son in the cart, eyes wide as saucers, hastily moved on in an act of protection. 

When Casey Schwatz wrote ADHD's Upside is Creativity, Says New Study for The Daily Beast this might have been what she meant when she talked about a lack of inhibition.  I was reading her article; which talked about divergent thinking, creative problem solving and lack of inhibition - all aspects of ADHD - and their effect on creativity.  A flood of personal examples come to mind. So many that it is hard to choose which to write about.

Some are perfect examples of brilliance, some are a little scary, some are just funny, most are all of the above.  Maybe they are the good, the bad, and the extreme of life with ADHD.

That same 17 year old, Mariah, that shocked the mild mannered shoppers in the grocery store is a musician and lyricist herself.  That same lack of inhibition or impulsiveness that would send her reeling around the corner in the super market allows her to create, sometimes instantaneously, a masterpiece of music and lyrics. This clip is only a little bit that will be in an upcoming movie.  There is no doubt in my mind that her impulsiveness transforms her creativity.  She speaks through her music.  I have watched it overtake her, an irresistible force that cannot be contained.  It is hard to describe, it is such an energetic and real experience.

 
Sometimes the speed at which this creative movement takes place is astounding.  I have watched people sit in awe as my oldest would carry on a conversation and draw at the same time. From scribble to detail in moments.  Her younger siblings all have fond memories of what they called "drawing stories."  She would sit and illustrate a story as she made it up and told it to them. The speed at which she creates, transforms her artistic ability to movement and emotion on paper.  It is not overly thought out.  It is simply expressed.  In fact, whether it is in her art or writing, when she does try to plan, the planning really becomes a stumbling block for her. Her inhibition or impulsiveness is her greatest tool.

This force of creativity and energetic thought fights for an expression.  Unanswered, this creative force, will fester and  like a balloon that is filled with too much air - it will eventually pop, emotionally and/or physically,  in one way or another.  I have seen that too. 

Some years ago my husband, Mark, started working on a children's story to express this very real ADHD experience of being overwhelmed by thoughts and ideas.  "Bean Pole McCoy was a regular boy - except for his really large head."  His head was so full of ideas that he could not manage them all.  His head grew and grew until it over took everything in his world.  You can see in Mark's illustration how these ideas and Bean Pole's growing head overshadow his whole world.  I know from listening to my Husband and all of my many ADHD children that this is a real and persistent struggle.

In addition to a lack of inhibition the article also talks about divergent thinking.  I am not at all sure that the term "thinking outside the box" even begins to describe the type of divergent thinking that is involved in ADHD.  I would say it is a perspective difference at its core.  I see it in a thought pattern that I cannot even follow or understand.  The intrinsic difference between the "why" thinker and the "why not" thinker.  Interestingly enough, it seems that my ADHDers all understand the perspective and train of thought that leads them while to me it takes a lot of work to get it, if I ever "get it" at all.

I thought this picture taken by my daughter, Mary, really illustrated that difference in perspective.  I would never think to take a picture over a person's shoulder, catching their candid expression in the side mirror of the van.  Then again, Mary rarely thinks of taking a picture strait on.  I would never see the sunset as Rachel sees it and think of tragic star crossed lovers cursed to only touch in that moment when twilight meets dusk.  I love it and I enjoy their perspective. I enjoy what is created when their divergent thinking, influenced by their lack of inhibition meets their talent.


There is not doubt in my mind that divergent thinking quickly leads to creative problem solving.  There is an element of creative brilliance hidden in some moments of ADHD problem solving.  I say hidden because you have to look past the initial shock value of some of these experiences to find the brilliance.

When Mary was about 4 her bedroom faced the street with a really huge window.  It had mini-blinds that we tried to keep closed so that people couldn't see into their room and because when the blinds were lifted up they left a very long cord hanging down.  Mary had already tried to make a tightrope with a bathrobe tie spanning from the bed to the crib.  We caught her mid air, as she took her first step onto it.  We did not want to see what she could do with a long dangling cord.

We told Mary that she would be in big trouble if she opened those blinds because it was dangerous.  We have always tried to explain the reasons behind rules - it seemed to make our children more invested in keeping them.  And she did keep the rule, she did not open those blinds again.  Imagine our shock, though, when we came in one morning to find a perfect square cut out of those metal mini-blinds with plastic pre-school scissors.  Her explanation was simple, "You told me to not pull up the blinds and I couldn't see out, so I cut a square to look out."  She solved the problem...creatively.

The good, the bad and the extremely ADHD.  What an adventure our lives are - certainly nothing I ever dreamed of when I thought of sunlit nurseries and raising children.  Then again, life is in the journey - isn't it - and isn't it the journey that shapes us. 

Our children have definitely shaped me, they stretch me as a parent and a person everyday.  We strive to shape them by helping them understand their brains and learn, as best they can, to manage that incredible instrument.  We try to feed their talents and give them the positive outlets they need to use their fast paced creative minds, their free thinking brains, to express the many ideas scrambling for a chance to come out.  We also try to teach them to filter and abandon the bad ones; but, that is very much a work in progress.


For example, When discussing how gross and disgusting the trash cans had become in the hot summer, Mariah, came up with a solution.  We don't pay the bill, they will collect the stinky things. Then we pay to restore service and they deliver fresh clean cans. 

Always a work in progress, always an adventure.

 * all ideas, art, photography and music in this post are the copyrighted property of their individual creators respectively: Mark Aro, Mariah Aro, Rachel Aro, Mary Aro.

** pictures can be enlarged by clicking on them

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Math, Music and Social Skills

How does one receive a 0% on an non-graded assignment?  That is what Mariah wondered about her Math Lab post that many of you have read (if not see She Turned it in But Will They Post It).  She was sure that she was going to have to submit her rather plain alternative, "My name is Mariah and I am afraid of math."  When she finally got a hold of her math teacher and was able to ask her about the post.

Mariah, Rachel and Hannah attend a virtual high school through our school district called Dunlap Leadership Academy.  All of her work is on the computer and her teachers are remote, though they go up to the schools computer lab everyday to work on school (you can also do school remotely - it  covers 7 counties - but we already have 3 kids using our internet each day and they want a little social interaction). 

While Mariah had her teacher on line she cornered her about the Math Lab post - had she read it?  Did she need to redo it?  Apologize?  As it turned out the teacher was having problems with the school and it had arbitrarily given Mariah a 0%.  The teacher loved it and actually passed it around the school to other math teachers who all agreed that while Mariah might not be a math genius she was pretty smart and very funny.

In the mean time she insulted her music theory teachers intelligence by telling her basically, "I know the answer I am am just seeking your professional opinion and wondering if you really teach music or know anything about music."  Ahhhhhhhhh Mariah.  You can see why when Mariah tells us she's been talking to a teacher we stop breathing for a moment.  Waiting to hear if it is witty and brilliant or demeaning and insulting.

Mariah has never been known for her social skills.  It is truly one of her great ADHD struggles.  I remember well and share often a time in the 7th or 8th grade when some poor band-mate made the mistake of asking Mariah what she did over the weekend.  Mariah attacked her verbally then later asked how she could ever think that she knew her well enough to ask such a private question.  Imagine her surprise when I introduced her to the concept of small talk.

Over the years she has worked hard to develop those pesky social skills.  Probably the greatest skill she has gained is the ability to go back and try to communicate starting most conversations with, I really suck at this so please forgive me - I was trying to say...

She had that conversation with the music teacher - it ended on a good note.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The Great Composer Strikes Again

Mariah - the source of inspiration for the 'Oh yes she did just say that" has always had a terrible time communicating - you wouldn't know that now so much but she did. In fact, I am sure that some of her extreme humor and quick wit is to deflect what she really has a hard time expressing. When she was smaller she really could not communicate at all and she was a tightly wound ball of extreme stress. At 7 her grandfather introduced her to the flute to give her an outlet for her stress - something else to occupy her mind.

 
 She found in that moment an
instant ability and passion for music. 

It was not long and she was tugging at my shirt playing something she had created followed by, 'and the french horn will play this and that will play this.' Now before you think I am raising a total Bach or Mozart let me tell you that while she does compose incredible music she also has a little weird Al in her so you never know when she calls you in to hear something whether it is going to be a Bach moment or her personal rendition of Weird Al's Albuquerque.


Yesterday (while I was begging her to clean clean clean) she was coming up with new lyrics for Hey Diddle Diddle for our two Australian Shepards. So from the composer of The Attack of the Corn Martians and Me and My Llama we have a new and improved Hey Diddle Diddle now being sung by all...ALL...over and over and over again (I would say there goes what's left of my sanity but you know - long time ago!)

Hey diddle diddle Sid's not very little she weighs almost 70 pounds
she jumps on my lap and licks me on the face
and I beg her to get on the ground

Hey diddle diddle watch Pepper piddle anywhere he wants to go
he thinks he's the boss just cause he's a man
but he's just a baby you know


If you want to hear a more serious song she composed Mariah and her sister, Rachel, formed a band together called The Bliss Method and on their website is one of the songs they have recorded. Rachel is the vocalist and Mariah wrote the lyrics and composed the music. The website is blissmethod.com and the song is Border Patrol under music.

As a side note it is music that over the years has allowed her to cope with her stress. It is music and performing in front of people (squarely behind the music stand at first) that gave her the confidence to actually speak in front of people. It is music through which she often speaks her mind first and finds the words to express herself. Everyone has a music - the trick is finding it and using it. For Rachel it is art. I often say that Mariah breathes music like Rachel breathes art.